Is It Spring Yet?

7:15 a.m. Wake up, or more accurately, get woken up by The Wee Man chatting in his crib down the hall (according to his internal baby body clock, it is his usual wake up time of 6:15 a.m., but I still consider it a small victory when I squint at the clock – thank you Daylight Savings Time).

7:16 a.m. Hubby the Great takes a look outside the bedroom window to see if the snow storm has stopped (for the love of all that is good and holy, let it have stopped!). He groans when he sees the aftermath. He knows when has been beaten.

7:18 a.m. Head downstairs to get The Wee Man’s milk. I open the blinds to the backyard and wonder what the hell happened to our barbeque, our patio set, our shrubbery, our fence…Oh, yes, that’s right, THEY ARE ALL BURIED UNDER PILES AND PILES OF SNOW. Grrr…

7:20 a.m. Go to front door and see the huge snow drift blocking access to our house. Do quick mental calculation of how much food and supplies we have on hand and wonder if, in the very likely event, we are snowed in until April, we can survive.

8:00 a.m. Hubby the Great starts to repeat: “There is nowhere to put all the snow. Where am I going to put all the snow?”

8:15 a.m. Instead of shoveling the driveway for the 100th time this winter, Hubby the Great decides ignoring the Antarctic-like conditions outside is the way to go.

9:00 a.m. Hear strange noise outside and go investigate. Next-door neighbour is using his snow blower on OUR driveway!!! God bless ‘ye Jack. Suddenly guilt-ridden for never shoveling his driveway (hey, guy has a snow blower, we have a shovel).

9:45 a.m. Jack finishes removing massive amounts of snow from our driveway. Hubby the Great realizes that if he’d tried to remove all that snow on his own he’d be there until Thursday. Thanks again, Jack!

10:30 a.m. Make the decision to venture out of doors to buy a few items needed for dinner.

11:00 a.m. On the road.

11:01 a.m. Hubby the Great and I are full of smugness that we ignored Al Gore et al. and bought a big-ass 4X4 SUV with a V8 motor. Good luck trying to get around Ottawa today in anything less - heh.

11:10 a.m. Reach Costco and dread the inevitable crowds.

11:11 a.m. Unreal, Costco, on a SUNDAY, is empty. This should be the lead story on the 6 o’clock news.

11:30 a.m. Finish enjoying our solitude and head off for lunch to our favourite Vietnamese place. Pass city bus stuck in the snow. Congratulate ourselves again on the big-ass SUV.

1:00 p.m. Lunch over. Time to head to indoor playground (hey, if we were one of the few to get out of their homes today, we’d better make the most of it).

2:00 p.m. Leave indoor playground and head to supermarket.

2:10 p.m. Supermarket, like Costco, virtually empty. Huzzah!

2:30 p.m. Reach home in time for The Wee Man’s nap. Decide that all the snow we didn’t shovel has made us sleepy and we need a nap too.

Fast-forward to 10:00 p.m. Hubby the Great and I turn on the weather before we go to bed. More snow forecasted for Tuesday. Wonder why we don’t live in the Bahamas. Cry ourselves to sleep.

The day before. Never a good sign when city crews remove snow to make way for what was to come.

Seriously, let's just go back to bed and stay asleep until spring.

Where did the barbeque go?

Daddy's had enough shoveling. Now it's your turn.

Where is everybody? This IS Costco, on a weekend, isn't it?

Ouch! Hey, honey - I think I found the barbeque.

Explain to me again, Daddy, why the British and French fought for control over this corner of the world?

Ironically, This Clip Made Me Wet MY Pants

For those not in the know, I lived in Japan for five years a while back (pre-politics, pre-Hubby the Great and The Wee Man). My brother currently lives in Tokyo and has a four year old son whose mother is Japanese. I know they want my nephew to learn as much English as possible, but I’d also like The Wee Man to learn some Japanese (umm, I may be getting ahead of myself since he only has three words of English so far, but anyhow…) so he and his cousin don’t have any trouble communicating later on.

I was curious to see what kinds of educational English-Japanese kids’ DVDs exist out there. While my Google search didn’t really turn up anything to help The Wee Man with his future bilingualism, I did run across a Japanese clip using a popular animated character to, let’s say, encourage toilet training. Someone did the English-speaking world a huge favour by subtitling it. And, while you may at first be doubtful, I can vouch for the authenticity of the translation.

I’m laughing now, but when it comes time to toilet train The Wee Man, I may be begging for an English version…

I Blame The TV Writers' Strike

The winter doldrums have set in big time. I have had zero inspiration to write – zero I tell you. So what does one do when stuck inside during this period of hibernation, besides wallow in a creative abyss? Why, you stare at your closets and realize that you need to get them organized - pronto.

But, first, you need a plan of attack. So off to Chapters you go where you load up on organization books and magazines and caffeine – lots of caffeine.

Then speed read through said reading material and (thanks to a weird combination of espresso and gray winter skies) convince yourself that you can turn this...

into this...

Canadian winters really do mess with your mind.

The Best Christmas Present EVER!

Hubby the Great, The Wee Man, and I just returned from a holiday in Jamaica. Loved, loved, loved it! Not only did we get fun in the sun at a fabulous resort, we also managed to avoid the huge dump of snow in Ottawa while we were gone – bonus!

And while my body is back in snowy Canada, I think my mind is still on a Jamaican beach (with Pina Colada in hand) because I can’t really get words down on the page. Therefore, I will let pictures do the talking.

Have passport, will travel

Beer AND Popcorn! The Liberals’ fears have come true...

New Bathing suit: $65
Week’s supply of #45 sunscreen: $30

Cost of traveling to tropical paradise where having a large badonkadonk is the feminine ideal: priceless.

Check Out My Mad Sandcastle-Building Skillz - yo!

Chillin’

It’s My Party and I’ll Cry If I Want To

I’ll admit it. I went a little overboard hosting The Wee Man’s birthday party this past weekend. I just figured that since it was a milestone, I shouldn’t half-ass it. So I bought the decorations, made the food, and invited his little buddies and their parents. Ahh, such good intentions.

Anyhow, here are some observations from a rookie’s first attempt at hosting a toddler’s birthday party:

1) Time is not on your side. No matter how fast you get the festivities rolling you cannot outrun the impending collective meltdown of toddlers overdue for a nap.

2) Don’t even try to be the hostess with the mostess. Cocktails and canapés are a thing of the past (unless someone comes up with a hors d’oeuvre made from Cheerios or people don’t mind getting their martini served in a sippy cup).

3) You will be eating off Peter Rabbit 1st Birthday paper plates until Christmas because you ordered too many.

4) You will be eating leftovers (on those paper plates) until Christmas because, despite having a toddler of your own, you have suddenly forgotten that parents have to eat in a hurry and are lucky to scarf down half a hamburger, let alone your variety of side dishes.

5) Forget buying a big cake. By the time you get around to singing “Happy Birthday” the only way parents are interested in prolonging their stay to eat cake is if it is laced with tranquilizers.

6) Warn friends who don’t have kids that every hour spent at your child’s birthday party will equal the number of years they will want to continue using birth control.

The Wee Man Turns One!

I wish I could adequately put into words all that I’m feeling today as my baby turns one. I think back to a year ago when he decided to put the scare of our lives into us by having to stay in the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit for a week after he was born.

We wanted to put the celebrations on hold until we knew for sure that he was going to be okay. But by the time we got the all-clear from the doctors, we were so wrung out from the worry and uncertainty we endured watching him struggle to get better that passing out cigars and toasting ourselves with champagne seemed superfluous. At that point, all we wanted to do was to get him home.

Joy, pride and great love are just a few of the things I’m feeling right now. But if I had to pick just one emotion to sum up today it would be gratitude. Gratitude for The Wee Man being happy and healthy, gratitude for learning to cherish each day with my loved ones, and gratitude for being able to have joy, pride and great love in my life.

So after presents are opened, a first bite of cake is tasted, and The Wee Man is put to bed, Hubby the Great and I will finally open that bottle of champagne. Because, after all, we have so much to celebrate.

Are You Quite Serious?

No surprise that the Christmas season starts earlier and earlier every year. After all, Yuletide products started appearing on store shelves right after Labour Day. But do they need to start playing Christmas carols so damned early?

I entered a store today and was confronted with “Jingle Bells” playing on the sound system. November 1st. November. Bloody. First.

I suppose retailers do it to create an ambience of Christmas to get shoppers in the mood for some holiday spending. Well guess how they can get me in the mood for holiday spending? LOWER THEIR PRICES TO REFLECT THE STRONG CANADIAN DOLLAR! Because if they don’t, I will be dashing through the snow right to the U.S. to buy presents. Ho Ho Ho – Merry Christmas.